Blended families sometimes encounter difficulties in treating all children equally.

This was the case for Madison’s family when her husband requested that her daughter skip a family trip, so his son’s girlfriend could go instead. Matters worsened upon their return, prompting Madison to seek our advice. This is Madison’s letter:

My 16 y.o. stepson wants to invite his new girlfriend on our trip to Spain. My husband agreed but said he can’t afford more than 4 tickets, so we have to leave my 18 y.o. daughter at home. I was furious and blamed him for choosing a stranger over his own stepdaughter whom he’d been raising since she was 7.

He replied, “That stranger is my son’s guest… Also, you seem to forget that your daughter’s dad is irresponsible and lazy, never paying for her vacations. Maybe it’s time for him to step up.” I felt powerless. We left for Spain without my daughter because I knew her biological dad couldn’t afford a trip to Europe.

When we returned, we were horrified to find that my daughter had packed her things and moved in with her father. She blames me for not standing up for her. I am devastated and at a loss. I still cant believe my husband’s cruelty and how his actions led to this terrible situation. What should I do?

Madison, Thank you for sharing your story, Madison. We’ve prepared four tips that might help you. Seek family counseling. Given the emotional complexity and the deep wounds caused by this situation, seeking professional family counseling can be helpful.