I’m struggling with a situation that’s tearing me up inside, and I don’t know where to turn. My best friend “Rachel” and I have been inseparable for 20 years—we’ve shared everything, from high school dramas to family crises and now the excitement of planning my wedding. She’s more like a sister than a friend, and I trusted her completely. My fiancé “Tom” and I have been together for three years, and he’s been nothing but respectful and supportive of my friendship with Rachel.
A few weeks ago, we were all at my apartment after a night out. I’d gone to bed early, exhausted, and left Rachel and Tom in the living room watching a movie. A few minutes later, Tom came into the bedroom looking shaken and told me that Rachel had leaned in and tried to kiss him. He said he pulled away immediately and that Rachel apologized, blaming it on the alcohol.
Judy, I can’t shake the feeling of betrayal. If what Tom says is true, then the friend I trusted most in the world made a move on my fiancé. But if I confront Rachel and it wasn’t as serious as it sounds, I could lose her forever. Part of me wants to give her the benefit of the doubt, but another part wonders if I should cut her out of my life completely to protect my relationship with Tom. I keep replaying the night in my head, wondering if I missed any warning signs that Rachel might have had feelings for him.
Since then, Rachel has been acting strangely around me—short answers, nervous laughter, barely meeting my eyes. She hasn’t brought up the night at all, and neither has Tom. Now, every time I try to bring myself to ask her about it, I freeze, worried about what her answer might be. I’m scared that if she admits it was intentional, I’ll never be able to forgive her, but if she denies it, I might still wonder if there’s more going on.
The wedding planning is adding another layer of stress, and I can’t imagine going through with it without Rachel by my side. But I also can’t ignore this nagging feeling that I’m overlooking something critical. Judy, should I confront her, or do I just try to move on for the sake of my friendship and relationship?
