When grief, guilt, and family obligations collide, it can feel impossible to put yourself first. Yet even in the heaviest moments, some choose to protect their own peace. One of our readers shared her heartbreaking story — a decision to go ahead with a long-awaited dream vacation, just days after her 15-year-old stepson tragically died. What she saw as self-preservation turned into judgment, loss, and the unraveling of her marriage.
Here is Sandra’s letter:
My husband and I were together for 11 years, and in all that time, we never managed to take a proper vacation. For the past three years, we had been saving every spare dollar to finally take our dream cruise.
But just four days before departure, tragedy struck, my 15-year-old stepson was ki.ll.ed in a car accident.
I was devastated for my husband, and the grief was overwhelming. Still, I couldn’t shake the weight of everything I had poured into this trip, the years of saving, the anticipation, the emotional investment. I told him, “You can stay, but I can’t give this up.” He didn’t argue. He just went silent.
While I was on the cruise, my phone rang. It was him. His voice was cold as he said: “You are never coming back to this house again.”
I was stunned. Soon after, I learned he had gathered all of my belongings, placed them outside, and even asked my mother to come pick them up. My dream trip — the one I had been looking forward to for years — suddenly turned into a nightmare.
When I returned, he told me he had already filed for divorce. He said he couldn’t stay married to someone who would leave so soon after his son’s death. At first, I hoped it was only grief talking, but it became clear he meant every word.
Now I keep asking myself: was it truly so wrong to go on a trip I had worked so hard and waited so long for? I couldn’t bear to throw it all away. But instead, I may have lost my marriage.
Do you believe I was wrong? What would you advise me to do now?