My husband was in sh0ck and hurt when I asked for a divorce after thirty years of marriage. He felt he had always been a good husband. However, I had a reason he didn’t even guessed about.
Isn’t it curious how two people can have such different views on the same event? Take marriage, for example. My husband Zack believed we were happily married, while I knew I wasn’t.
Our separate realities collided when I asked for a divorce on our thirtieth wedding anniversary, just two weeks after our youngest child moved out.
“You,” I told him. “Or rather, I am.”
Zack sat down heavily, still staring. “You’re divorcing me?”
“Yes,” I repeated. “I’m divorcing you.”
“But why?” he cried, and I was surprised to see tears in his eyes. “I love you, Kelly, I always have, and I never cheated on you, not ever!”
“That’s true,” I said. “You never cheated and you never drank or gambled.”
One of the most important things in a relationship is to LISTEN to what the other person is really saying.
“But…Then why?” he asked angrily. “I did NOTHING and you’re divorcing me? Are you having an affair?”
“NO!” I cried. “I’m not! Do you want to know why I’m leaving you, Zack? I’ll tell you…” I walked right up to him and looked him in the eyes.
“I’m leaving you because you did NOTHING! When the children came and I was holding a full-time job and coming home to do the housework alone, you did NOTHING.
“When I was so ill I could barely get out of bed, you did NOTHING; when my father died and I was devastated by grief, you did NOTHING; when I went through menopause and had depression, you did NOTHING.
“When I was so sad that our two oldest children left home, you did NOTHING. You never brought me a flower just to say you loved me, you never stood up for me when your mother was so mean to me.
“That time I twisted my ankle and I could barely walk, I had to get out of bed at 6:00 am and fix breakfast — and you lay there snoring and did NOTHING. Nothing seems to be what you do best!”
“You never told me!” Zack cried with an injured look on his face.
