I Proposed to My Girlfriend, Now She Wants to Be a Stay-at-Home Fiancée – Am I Marrying a Gold Digger?

Before getting engaged, a young couple found out they were employed by the same company but had quite different salaries. The young woman wanted to leave her job after being engaged, which led others on social media to think she was a gold-digger. However, her fiancé disputes that.

A 30-year-old engaged man posted a message on the AITAH subreddit asking for guidance regarding a challenging circumstance he was going through and felt horrible about. He clarified that he, a researcher for a large tech company, first met his fiancée during an event at their shared office 2.5 years ago. The 26-year-old completely enthralled the original poster (OP), who then asked her out.

So far, their relationship is going great, and he really likes how organized the woman who works in marketing is. He was proud of the woman since she worked on marketing events and planning as part of her job, and she is brilliant at it. Though his office desk job hours were more predictable and he rarely worked late, her work occasionally forced her to put in long hours.

His fiancée frequently grumbled about how fortunate he was while she had to travel to do her tasks. OP also disclosed that he is neurodivergent (ADD) and finds it difficult to do basic tasks, which is one of the reasons he adores her—she helps him with everything that has to be organized. He said she was patient and improving many aspects of his life.

At one point, when OP’s partner moved in with him, they had their first financial conversation. He was fortunate to have a solid benefits package, and although she was aware of his financial stability, she was nevertheless taken aback by his salary. He was shocked to learn that he earns fifteen times as much as she does!

In addition to offering to cover her living expenses, OP suggested she could concentrate on accumulating money for her student loan, which she had put off at the time. The Reddit user owns their flat, but his fiancée—who was also his girlfriend at the time—wanted to help out. As a result, they divided their spending according to each person’s income.

Because OP’s partner is an independent and self-sufficient woman, the arrangement worked well for her. OP proposed to his fiancée one month prior to his Reddit post. She’s never asked him for anything expensive, but this time she asked for an approximately $15,000 diamond engagement ring. Although OP felt awkward spending so much money, she persuaded him that it was worthwhile as she would wear the item for the rest of her life.

He continued by saying that anytime she displayed the ring to someone, she would frequently try to bring up the ring’s price throughout the discussion. OP was uncomfortable with that and repeatedly requested her to stop, but she persisted. OP’s fiancée invited him to sit with her on the couch the day before he posted his post so they could talk about something significant.

She gave him a 15-day notice that she was going to be leaving her job the following month. She informed him she wanted to plan their wedding, which would take a lot of time, when he asked her what was wrong, seeming shocked. She wanted to get their reservations organized as soon as possible because they would be getting married in the summer.

The woman said she wanted to be a stay-at-home fiancée and was tired of working long hours when questioned why she needed to quit her job for that reason. He pointed her the remaining balance on her college loans, chuckled, and told her that was not an issue. OP’s fiancée contended that since they were now a team and she made less money than he did in a month, she wasn’t concerned about the college loans.

When he asked what she had planned for the post-wedding period, she said that she hadn’t thought that far ahead. Although OP suggested she take a sabbatical, he clarified that he was uneasy about her giving up her work at such a young age, particularly since they weren’t expecting children for a time. Even after they got married, he wanted her to be independent in case something bad occurred to him.